You’re out on this date, kinda just chatting, and then outta nowhere you realize you’ve got no idea what to say next. You’re just kinda sitting there, nodding, sipping your drink, hoping something decent comes to mind soon.
Happens to the best of us.
Talking on a date’s not supposed to be that complicated, right? But then you’re actually sitting there with someone new, and suddenly it’s like your brain kinda blanks. You’re trying to think of something decent to say without sounding boring. And at the same time, you’re hoping you don’t come off like you’re trying way too hard either.
I pulled together a bunch of topics that actually work. Real stuff people talk about when they’re not trying to force it.
Let’s get into it.
Start with the Basics
Okay so first things first, you can’t go wrong with the easy stuff.
Like asking about their day or what they’re into.
“How’d your week go?” or “What do you do when you’re not stuck at work?”
It’s simple, gets them talking, and you’re not coming in hot with some weird deep question right off the bat.
People like talking about themselves – not in a selfish way, just cause it’s comfy.
I’ve started dates asking about their morning coffee run and suddenly we’re 10 minutes in swapping caffeine addiction stories.
It’s low pressure and builds from there.
Hobbies Are Gold
Speaking of what they’re into, hobbies are a freaking goldmine.
Ask what they do for fun – doesn’t matter if it’s video games, hiking, knitting, whatever.
Most people light up when you hit on something they love.
Like I went out with this guy who was obsessed with old vinyl records, and I’m like “okay tell me about that,” and boom, he’s rattling off stories about flea market finds.
Even if you don’t get it, act curious.
“What got you into that?” or “What’s the coolest thing you’ve made?”
It shows you care and keeps the chat rolling.
Food’s a Safe Bet
Food’s another easy one.
You’re probably eating or drinking something, so lean into it.
“What’s your go-to meal?” or “You a sweet or savory person?”
Everybody’s got an opinion on food.
I’ve had dates where we end up debating pizza toppings for way too long, and it’s dumb but fun.
Or ask about the best thing they’ve ever eaten – you might get a wild story about some hole-in-the-wall taco joint.
Plus if you’re at a restaurant, you can riff off the menu.
“This pasta’s insane, you like Italian stuff?”
It’s natural, not forced.
Travel Stories Rock
Travel’s a big hitter too.
Ask if they’ve been anywhere cool or where they’d go if money wasn’t a thing.
People love dreaming out loud about beaches or mountains or whatever.
I dated this girl who’d backpacked through Europe, and I’m sitting there asking about hostels and sketchy train rides, totally hooked.
Even if they haven’t traveled much, you can flip it – “Where’s the one spot you’d drop everything to see?”
It’s fun and you learn what they’re into.
Oh and toss in your own travel bit if you’ve got one, keeps it balanced.
Pop Culture’s a Shortcut
Pop culture’s great cause it’s everywhere.
“What shows you hooked on lately?” or “You a movie person?”
Doesn’t have to be highbrow – if they’re binging some trashy reality show, that’s perfect.
You can tease them a little, like “Oh you’re one of those people, huh?”
I’ve bonded with dates over hating the same dumb sitcom endings.
Music works too – “What’s your playlist look like?”
Just don’t judge too hard if they’re into something cheesy.
Unless it’s Nickelback, then maybe run.
Funny Stories Are a Win
If you’ve got a funny story, use it.
Nothing heavy, just something dumb that happened to you.
Like the time I locked myself out of my car in the rain or tripped in front of my boss.
People love laughing, and if they’ve got a good one back, even better.
“Ever had one of those days where everything goes wrong?”
I had a date once where we swapped embarrassing kid stories for like 20 minutes, and it was gold.
Keeps it light and shows you’re not taking yourself too serious.
Dreams and Goals
Okay so if it’s going well, you can nudge it a little deeper.
Not like “what’s the meaning of life” deep, but stuff like “What’s something you’ve always wanted to try?”
Or “Where do you see yourself in five years if you could pick?”
It’s chill but lets you peek at what drives them.
I asked a guy once what he’d do if he won the lottery, and he’s like “I’d open a dog sanctuary,” and I’m thinking “damn that’s adorable.”
You don’t have to get all serious, just dip in and out.
Childhood Throwbacks
Childhood stuff’s fun too.
“What were you like as a kid?” or “What was your favorite thing growing up?”
People get nostalgic and it’s cute hearing about their old toys or that time they thought they’d be an astronaut.
I’ve had dates tell me about treehouse disasters or stealing cookies from their grandma, and it’s like instant bonding.
Toss in your own memory too – “Oh yeah I was obsessed with those glow-in-the-dark stars.”
It’s cozy and easy.
Weird Hypotheticals
If you wanna mix it up, throw out some random “what if” stuff.
“Would you rather fight a bear or a shark?” or “You get one superpower, what is it?”
It’s silly but gets them thinking.
I’ve had whole debates about flying versus invisibility, and it’s dumb but you laugh a lot.
Keeps things playful and shows you’re not stiff.
Just don’t overdo it or you’ll sound like a trivia night host.
What’s Happening Around You
Also, use what’s around you.
If you’re at a bar and the music’s weird, say something.
“This playlist is all over the place, huh?”
Or if someone’s being loud nearby, joke about it – “Think that guy’s on his own date over there?”
I’ve had dates where we people-watched and made up stories about strangers, and it’s a blast.
Keeps you in the moment and takes the pressure off.
Their Friends or Family
If you’re feeling brave, ask about their people.
“Got any crazy friends?” or “You close with your family?”
Not too nosy, just enough to see who they roll with.
People love bragging about their bestie’s dumb antics or their mom’s cooking.
I went out with this guy who told me his sister once dyed his hair purple as a prank, and I’m cracking up picturing it.
You don’t have to dig deep, just let them share.
Avoid the Red Zones
Oh yeah, quick heads-up – steer clear of the messy stuff.
Politics, exes, religion?
Maybe not right away unless they bring it up.
I’ve seen dates crash and burn cause someone went off about their voting rant 10 minutes in.
Keep it chill til you know they’re cool with it.
You’re not there to argue, you’re there to vibe.
Let It Flow
Big thing though – don’t force it.
You don’t need a script or to hit every topic.
If they’re quiet, that’s fine – some people take a minute to warm up.
I’ve been on dates where I’m sweating trying to fill every gap, and it’s like “relax, they’re just shy.”
Ask a question, listen, riff off what they say.
It’s a convo, not an interview.
If it’s clicking, you won’t even have to think about it.
Wrapping It Up
So yeah, that’s the deal.
Basics, hobbies, food, travel, pop culture, funny stories, dreams, childhood, hypotheticals, surroundings, their crew – tons to play with.
Mix it up, see what sticks.
You’re not gonna nail every date, and that’s fine – some people just don’t click no matter what you say.
But if you keep it light, stay curious, and roll with it, you’ll be good.
Worst case, you get a funny story out of it.
Best case, you’re laughing together til midnight.
Either way, you got this.