When my relationship ended, I was devastated. Like most people who go through a breakup, my first instinct was to reach out to my ex, to try and fix things, to explain myself, or even just to hear his voice.
But after some advice from a friend and a lot of soul-searching, I decided to do something completely different: I went no contact.
Now, let me tell you, going no contact was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but it ended up being the most effective strategy to get my ex back.
Here’s how it played out for me, and why it might just work for you too.
Why I Chose No Contact
After the breakup, I felt lost. Every fiber of my being was telling me to text him, to call him, to try and patch things up. But deep down, I knew that continuing to reach out would only push him further away. We were both emotional, and any contact would likely lead to more arguments or, worse, me coming across as desperate.
A friend who had been through a similar situation suggested the no contact rule. The idea is to give both yourself and your ex space—time to cool off, reflect, and start to miss each other. It sounded terrifying, but I was willing to try anything to avoid making things worse.
The Early Days of No Contact
The first few days were brutal. I constantly checked my phone, hoping to see a text from him, even though I knew I couldn’t respond if he did. I felt like I was battling against my own emotions. Every time I thought about reaching out, I reminded myself why I was doing this—to give us both the space we needed to see things clearly.
During this time, I threw myself into self-care. I started working out more, spent time with friends, and picked up hobbies I had neglected. It wasn’t just about distracting myself; it was about rebuilding my confidence and independence. Slowly but surely, I began to feel like myself again.
When He Reached Out
Around the third week of no contact, something unexpected happened—he reached out to me. It was just a simple text asking how I was doing, but it felt like a huge victory. I didn’t jump at the chance to reply immediately, though. Instead, I took my time, staying calm and collected.
When I did respond, I kept the conversation light and friendly. I didn’t bring up the relationship or the breakup. I let him take the lead, and it was clear that he was testing the waters, curious about what I’d been up to and how I was feeling.
==> Here you can learn more about the best strategy for getting back with your ex.
Rebuilding the Connection
Over the next few weeks, we started talking more frequently, but I kept my boundaries firm. I didn’t want to fall back into old patterns or rush things. Instead, I focused on rebuilding our connection slowly, letting him see the positive changes I’d made in my life.
One thing I noticed was that he was much more attentive and considerate than before. It was almost like he realized what he had lost during our time apart. By giving him space, I allowed him to see me in a new light—not as someone who was needy or desperate, but as someone who was confident, independent, and worth fighting for.
When We Finally Got Back Together
After a couple of months, we had “the talk.” This time, it was different. We both acknowledged the issues that had led to our breakup, but we also talked about the things we missed about each other and why we wanted to give it another shot.
Getting back together wasn’t an instant fix—it took effort from both of us. But because we had both taken the time to reflect and grow individually, we were able to approach the relationship with a fresh perspective. The no contact period allowed us to heal and come back stronger, both as individuals and as a couple.
This is how we ended up back together.
The Power of No Contact
Looking back, I realize that the no contact rule was the best thing I could have done after the breakup. It wasn’t just about making him miss me; it was about giving us both the space to gain clarity and perspective. By the time we reconnected, we were both in a much better place emotionally and mentally, which made our reunion all the more meaningful.
If you’re going through a breakup and wondering if no contact could work for you, I can honestly say that it’s worth a try. But it’s not just about waiting for your ex to come back—it’s about using that time to work on yourself, to heal, and to grow.
Final Thoughts
The no contact rule helped me get back with my ex, but it wasn’t just luck—it was about understanding the psychology behind relationships and giving both of us the time we needed to see things clearly. If you’re serious about getting your ex back, there’s a powerful technique that can help you take things to the next level. It dives deep into the psychology of winning your ex back and rebuilding a stronger relationship.
If you want to learn more about this approach, click here to watch a special video presentation that explains everything in detail.